Moan Page

    "Hey!" I cry each day smashing my head against the same wall time & time gain, now the crosses I bear have been lifted hear me moan!

BMW's's........

Your love this one and it's true,

    I have a friend who works for Reading Borough Council (RBC) he placed an order into his stores for a 1/2 Inch HSS drill bit. After a week or so he was delivered a 9/16th's drill bit. On enquiring to why he was issued the wrong size this was the answer "Well all the drill bits are metric now so the nearest to a 1/2 Inch bit is 13mm, But we did not have any so a 9/16th's was the nearest to 13mm we could get".

This may not be much but as a tax payer & also Reading Council tax payer it is not nice to know where the money goes, There's more,

    One day when returning from work RBC had removed the white lines off a wide road in Reading (Hartland Road), The next day they had remarked the concrete road putting a ghosted area down the middle dividing the road up into three lanes, road, ghosted area & then road. This is a stupid arrangement as there are always cars parked ether side of the road thus causing you to drive one wheel on the road & the other on the ghosted section. This may seem a bit silly thing to do but after about two weeks they completely Tarmac'ed the road covering all the nice white lines they had just painted. It took another six weeks to then repaint the lines back on the road, ghosted & road format again!

    BMW's's have you ever noticed how different cars types attract a certain type of driver?

This I admit I have not seen done for a while perhaps It's because I have to leave earlier for work.

    The road sweeper man would be working his way down the road, brush-a-blur dropping this & that into his barrow. Behind him causing him to push his barrow on to the pavement comes the ROAD SWEEPER a huge thing diesel, spinning brushes & lots of vacuum type noises it swishes past & then the barrow is pushed off the pavement onto the road for continued brushing & blurring from the road sweeper man. Time progresses & on returning home I would find the weekly rubbish collection had been made & the road is covered in can's, rotting food & broken glass. A week later it was performed all over again! etc. (We have wheelie bins now & I leave to early to even know if the sweeper man still exists). I've also seen the driver of the ROAD SWEEPER tossing out cigarette packets on to the pavement. So I get the impression they are keeping themselves in a job at my expense.

    People throwing things out of car windows, When I was cycling I had a lighted cigarette go down the front of my jacket, and driving the car has been hit several times with various objects.

BMW's's.... Have you ever....

    The Majeski Stadium, Has it got a car park? as the south of Reading just stops. And who is paying for all the police & road sign's

    Smoking in public, I don't like smoking & I do not see how a harmful habit should be inflicted on to me. If I care to run naked down the road with a daffodil between my cheeks I will have half a dozen police on my case. The most this would cause is a major laugh, But smoking clogging up the air for other people & dabbing children's faces accidentally with cigarette butts is totally acceptable (Strange!). Smoking makes my eye's run & my face feel like it's been smashed with a baseball bat perhaps if I patted the odd smoker with a baseball bat they would be a bit more considerate? Sadly I suffer in the same way when I have to work in London for two or more days.

    Have you ever noticed that the lonely red car in the middle lane of the motorway is a Nissan Primera yet white Primera owners tend to stay in the near side lane?

    BMW's's....

   Car manufactures who hide the fog light switch behind the steering wheel or half way over the other side of the car. I had a beaten 155,000 mile Ford Mondeo the fog light switch is on a cam so when I turn the lights off the fog lights go off as well. Fiesta's & Jaguar's must suffer from hidden fog light switch syndrome.

    Plonkers who drive with there fog lights on in the rain causing confusion to people behind them as they flash on and off when other cars move between you & them. Hey wake up we can not see you break ether as your already showing a blinding red light.

    Car manufactures & the law allowing only single side light bulbs at the rear of cars if it blows you lose half the light output from your rear. There should be double bulbs each side so to give you a sporting chance to change the bulb. Also why don''t they fit bulb failure indication as standard?

    Car manufactures & the law, Why are the strongest, safest, side impact, ABS etc cars the most expensive when the working man spends hours & hours a day doing thousands of miles a year in the basic model with out any of these features? As a rule the expensive cars are only for show & are rarely driven!

    BMW's's Hey I here you say what's this guys problem? The worm has turned I have been harassed, bullied, pushed, bumped, knocked, cut-up, forced off the road, boxed in car parks, forced up the hard shoulder, pulled out on & parked so near to so I could not open the door by BMW's's the list is endless. I know not all BMW drivers are the same Tony who I work with is a brilliant driver he has a BMW, just the other day I spied a BMW in the inside lane of the motorway no where near the slip road. The motor cyclist was impressed as well, you could tell by the look on his face as I went past. there was at nearly 2 Inches between the front of the BMW and the rear of the bike.

    Did you know that the markers 3-2-1 on blue back grounds near the exit slip on the motorway are indicators for which lane a BMW should be in to leave.

    Did you know that indicator bulbs are extra on a BMW like alloy wheels, they must be very expensive as even the best models don't have them fitted!

    Most BMW drivers are short sighted as they always drive three inches from the rear of your car.

    There's the old joke about why women can not judge distances because men keep on telling them that it is nine inches long, When in fact it's only six inches. I think this is more true for BMW drivers as they can get there car in the eight foot gap between you & the lorry in front. Four inches or less springs to mind.

    Double yellow lines on the side of the road are landing marks for poorly sighted BMW drivers for when they want to park. They also act as markers to ensure that when parked the yellow lines run between the front & rear wheels, so that the passenger will not have to step up the kerb as the BMW is more on the pavement than off!

   The government have taken extreme measures in London to stop the BMW drivers from parking here there & everywhere, they have introduced the RED route system. Over painting double yellow lines with double red lines. This has proved to be most effective as BMW drivers can not see the colour red, Red Stop Traffic lights, Red Predestian Lights & Red no entry signs etc.

    The orange disabled parking system was introduced for BMW drivers to enable them to get nearer the shops (they had to put up anti-BMW parking Pillars to stop BMW's's from parking in side the shops). As most BMW drivers are visually disabled. The anti-BMW parking pillars have proved to be useful to stop ram raiding of the more popular BMW haunts.

To be continued.....

    I have been recently criticised that I have not updated my moan page. I've had a moan on the main page about car insurance but it was well deserved. The reason that I've been moaned at is that I have brought a BMW Well if you can not beat them why not join them! I've brought a  2 door 1986 318i it has 175,000 miles on the clock. It gets a "A" for being well built. I don't know much about BMW's but it strikes me that it was a basic model and previous owners have added a few bits. I'm not changing a thing about BMW drivers they are still all plonkers.
I have completely rewired the central locking, (Thanks Nicky for the extra bits)  The immobiliser had radically changed, now at present it's a CMOS effort with delayed automatic on (so I don't forget) but I'm in the process to designing a micro controller version. The car cost 900 but I'll be upset if someone nicks it. I've never ever polished a car before and all I have done so far is to smear the paint and get polish on the windscreen. I'm going to have a word with the guy down the road who cleans his car twice a day "I'm not joking!"

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